neither here nor there just right beside you (tgpeanut) wrote,
neither here nor there just right beside you
tgpeanut

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Going to LaConner

mmm... smoked salmon and goat cheese pizza. my new favourite.
Tl and I headed up to LaConner yesterday, it was her first real trip with Xoe. The skies were horribly gloomy, and it was early. Too early for TL, she had been out partying the night before at chez gus with all her friends. Even though she was hungover, she still wanted to spend the day with me. I thought that was really sweet. For some reason however, I was on the verge of tears for most of the morning. I've had lots of things on my mind the past few days and I havent been able to verbalize exactly what they are. In short I think Im feeling like Im on the precipice of loneliness... although I hardly ever get any time alone, I feel so lonely. I try to tell myself that this wont be forever and things will change, but I have that feeling deep inside that it will be. I just need to get used to it. Ive never been truly alone, and maybe now is my time for that. I cant see how anyone would love me, at least romantically. Any woman I meet is going to either want a man, or a real woman. I am neither. get used to it.
anyway, I managed to go through the whole day, and it was fun mind you, without crying. I also realize that today is my hormone shot day and the day before is always an emotional rollercoaster. Im getting used to that too.
We went to Good Kitty/Bad Kitty, and got Jer-Bear some much deserved treats all wrapped up and sprinkled with catnip. Oh he was excited to open his little presents!
I didnt buy anything else, other than that excellent lunch. Always, always order whatever TL is getting. there should be no exceptions to that.
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